Remember that time when you wanted to state your honest opinion, but hesitated in doing so? Or the time when you tried to provide constructive feedback to your client directly, but stopped and decided to complain to another person?
As compassionate and empathetic human beings, we all have experienced situations where it was difficult to be frank because we were concerned about other people’s feelings.
On the other hand, it is important for people to hear different perspectives, including yours.
So how can we be frank with all these internal struggles and dissonances?
Establish a Working Agreement
One of the best ways to handle such struggles is to establish a working agreement between individuals at the beginning of the journey. Before any situation arises (i.e. while we still like each other), you can explicitly discuss how to work together. The agreement can include but is not limited to:
- Roles and responsibilities (e.g. As a tester, it is my job to break your code)
- Styles and preferences (e.g. I am direct and transparent, are you okay with that?)
- Scope and expectations (e.g. I hope you can challenge me when I am wrong)
My Experience
When I start a new gig, one of the first items on my agenda is to establish working agreement with clients and sponsors. A conversation I previously had went as such:
“I am here to guide, mentor, facilitate and teach. You can count on me to help you grow. In order to achieve this, though, there will be times when I will need to be utterly honest and transparent with you. My style is to treat sensitive issues delicately, but also frankly.
“In return, I ask you to help me in seeing from different perspectives. May I invite you to be direct with me as well if there is anything that you would like to share, ask, or challenge?
Working agreement can enable you to be truly open. It invites collaboration rather than judgmental personal attacks. By establishing a common understanding upfront, you will have something to point towards when situation arises. Instead of struggling within grey areas, the working agreement will kick in and act as an inanimate mediator.
The Truth hurts, but it doesn’t kill. Lies may please, but it doesn’t heal.
Would you like to give working agreement a try? Let us know your experience or thoughts in the comment below.
Need help to realize and reach your business potential? Email me and let’s chat!